Hey bros and sis!!!!!
At this very moment I am right in front of the heater in the control room of the studio trying to get my feet to a normal temperature as we just came back from a little road trip to the pizza place with our Japanese friend Tomoaki...It's so cold outside...We already had the first hint of snow and I am not sure I am so happy about that!lol But now in the comfort of this inspiring place I feel so good. The guys are in the kitchen planning the next YFE TV...they always have so much fun doing it...Did you see the latest Episode (66)? I laughed SO MUCH watching it! I am a fan of Sef myself!lol That guy is a real comedian and he doesn't even know it!lol This week has been great, a bit of pressure here and there but a lot of excitement with what is coming. We are getting prepared for next week's show in Toronto....it will be CRAZY! The coolest thing about it is that a whole private bus filled with our bros and sis from our hometown is going to join us, traveling 6 hours from Montreal to Toronto for the show, going crazy for the YFE concert and then sleeping and dreaming about all the great times of sharing we will have just had while the bus will gently bring everyone back home safely...What an adventure! In theory I am also suppose to be playing keyboards for the very first time live... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!..! !!!!!...lol...not sure how I feel about it...lol...well in fact I know EXACTLY how I feel and the right word is: TERRIFIED!lol... I guess it's because I feel so comfortable just singing and that new part of my role in YFE is an unknown path...I have to believe in myself and I know that you guys are behind me and believe in me so it is giving me the courage I need to step in that new season for me. I just feel like playing keyboards on stage with the guys will bring a whole new dimension to how I even see myself in the band, my role, my place, my goal... I see it as I am turning a page on my own history, not sure of what the next chapter will be but I know the book of my life is meant to be victorious,exciting and meaningful so I am confident:)
With everything that is going on here... the album in progress...the future plans... the relationships that are growing... I have this feeling that everything is so important...determinant.....something that is not going to come back and that I should appreciate every little moment... It would be such a waste to loose time being insecure...a waste of energy to stay angry... sad... jealous... anxious... Not so long ago I was so stuck in these...wasting my time... loosing myself...blinded by fear... I was trying desperately to control everything in order to avoid pain and make sure my life would go the way I would want...I would decide... But there was one problem...What exactly did I want?... I was running with no direction... One night I completely cracked...I was in such darkness... I wanted an answer to what what this was all about...Why my life was so painful...What was wrong with me...Why I couldn't appreciate the good things in my life...Why things I thought I needed so badly were impossible to get... And I got a vision.
In my mind I saw that my life was like a garden. In this garden there are magnificent flowers exhaling a perfume that fills the garden. So colorful and alive these flowers are welcoming and healing. But in the garden there is also a frozen part. It's not dead, it's just frozen. It's darker and cold, there are thorns and icy buds. In the middle of the garden there is the gardener. He is in charge of the garden and not only he is so proud of the blooming flowers and takes care of them so they are to the maximum of their beauty, but he is also very well aware of the frozen part. In fact, he is not worried at all about the thorns and the iced flowers because He knows that in the right time the ice will melt and let the flowers grow. My life is that garden...the blooming flowers are my talents, my good relationships, things I can be proud of and that can inspire others... the frozen buds are things that are not yet developed...things that one day will be a part of my life but for no wit's not possible to enjoy...and every time I try to touch these I feel pain because I am touching ice, burning my skin trying to force and control nature... I hurt myself grabbing thorns that are protecting what is not meant to be available just now... "Be patient Miss Isabel"says the gardener... "and trust me, I am in control here and I want your garden to be beautiful". Through that vision of my life I have learned that most of my pain was due to my desire for control over everything and also to my lack of patience and perseverance. I understood that beauty and joy could live side by side with darkness and tears... I started then to believe the best thing for me was to focus on the blooming part of my life, enjoying its perfume and let others enjoy walking through it... And feed Hope for the frozen part...Hope and surrender...Hope and trust...
I want to remember that vision all my life...So lately I decided to get a tattoo that would represent it... Forever I will be reminded to surrender, trust and hope...also I will remember the people that are walking with me every day, supporting me, reminding me of the beautiful things in my life, my garden... I will remember the amazing things happening, the relationships being built with every laugh and tear... I will remember that it is worth it to suffer some pain to see a new garden bloom...because believe me...TATTOOS HURT!!!!!lol
Now be patient...lol I will show it to you soon... still needs a couple more hours of needles and ink...
I love you...Thank you for letting us witness the beauty of your gardens...
your sister forever
-Miss Isabel....