Written By Jeff Beaulieu
Hey guys, hope you're all doing great… your messages really touched me and moved me last week… you know it's not always easy for me… and I know it's even tougher for Alex at times… to really express my deepest feelings towards what's burning in my hearts and souls… I've been raised to keep my mouth shut and to keep my head down… to avoid feelings in order to avoid the pain… to never expect anything good from anybody… to stay away from dreams cause I wasn't deserving anything good… my mom called me a disposable carpet and my dad was referring to me as the family waste of skin… hiding and repressing my sufferings was a daily way to survive… so when I'm receiving messages and comments filled with affection and warmth… I still have to fight against my old nature telling me I'm not worth shit… just like my dad used to scream at me… but since we started the YFE family on MySpace… your words really healed a lot of my past issues… that's why I wanted to stop the whole YFE'S Machine last week to tell you how important you guys are for me… I found it very comforting to be real with you… no rock star bullshit… no rock n roll gimmick… just Jeff… simply looking at you… proud to see how courageous you are with your struggles and pains… proud to read your pieces of hopeful melancholy… proud to see your tears seeding a merciful world… proud to touch your hands still holding on after so much rejections… proud to see your wrists carved with the faith of better tomorrows… you're such an inspiration for me… I'm reading your messages… I'm reading your comments… different backgrounds… different cultures… different religions… different dreams… different experiences… different doubts… different fears… different desperations… yes… all different, but all the same… we're millions of faces waiting to be called by our names… beauty from ashes for some… pitiful failure for others… but you know… just like Alex shared in his latest Japanese blog: "I'm seeing a world based on charity… I'm seeing a world based on justice… I'm seeing a world based on empathy… I'm seeing a world based on equality… I'm seeing a world based on compassion… I'm seeing a world based on mercy… I'm seeing a world based on sympathy… I don't know if my human eyes will be able to witness such a world… I really don't know my dear friends… my head is very doubtful, but my heart is filled with brightness… because even if my human eyes are not able to see such a world… I know that somewhere… deep inside my spirit and deep inside my soul… our friendships and our mutual affection already gave birth to such a wonderful world"… and when I read Alex words, I immediately thought about you… cause it's exactly how I feel… I never found the words to fully express myself… you know… I never expected much in life… I always been kept away from dreaming… always had my head on the ground with the oppressive weight of being a loser on my neck… with fingers pointed at me, accusing me of being a wasted kid everyday at home… I don't have much souvenirs of my childhood… I keep them tightly locked in a safe place deep inside my soul… but in the last couple of months… after being touched by your courage and your determination… I started to dream like I never dreamed before… I started to see invisible things… to have faith… not the religious type of faith… but a faith feeding the hope of seeing the impossible becoming a reality in my soul even if my eyes were not able to find any pieces of colourful and hopeful morning… yes… you showed me a type of courage I wasn't able to understand… and from that little ray of light you blessed my eyes with bloomed a wonderful world of healing… and from that little seed of love you buried in my heart… raised a magnificent vision of tomorrows from the ruins of my faithlessness… I don't have much to offer my friends… I wish I could… really… I only have the few words my fears and my doubts allowed me to share… but one thing for sure… even the smallest seed of hope and faith have the power to blossom a world where everybody will be able to lay down and proudly surrender… I might not be able to feel your pains and sufferings… or even understand a single word of your desperate scream for help… but I only wanted to let you know once again… I truly care for you and I truly believe in an invisible world where the broken and the left behinds will be sheltered… will be dressed up… will be fed and will be healed… yes… I wish I had enough faith to show you such a world… but I don't… I'm barely able to see it sometimes… so I only wish you'll be willing to build it with me… cause you know… there's not a day, there's not a night… that I'm not praying for such a place to trade my sorrows and burdens for any healing whispers… WHEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU BECAME A HOME (YFE'S MEETING WITH FAMILY MEMBERS) I just came back from the New Jersey where Sef and I joined the US East Coast Street Team at the Bamboozle Festival… I'm burned out… my face is covered with sunburns… I lost my voice… but what a good time we had… incredible and amazing are the only words I can use to describe our time with some of the family members in Jersey… we've been fantastically led by Jess and superbly helped by Dan, Jay, Kelly, Kim, Liza, Lou, Maria, Mike, Raven, Rhiannon, Sam, Tatiana, Vienna… and had the chance to meet a lot of other members of the family… sorry if I don't have your names… Sef was in charge of keeping all the names for me and he wrote them down inside his hands… guess what… yes… Sef wasn't expecting the power of water on ink… lol… that dear Sef… Always there to help… bless his heart… lol…